Dear Akron,
Even as I write this, I can't believe I finally left you. At times I didn't think I could. I didn't know where I would go if I left. I didn't know where the money to leave you would come from. But mostly, I didn't know where the courage would come from to live a place I was comfortable. Ten years I gave you and you gave me. I didn't think I would ever like you and if I could ever call you home. I didn't think we would have anything in common or ever find a common ground.
Our beginning started at a time in my life where I thought nothing could touch me and that the world wouldn't leave too many scars on me. But through you, I learned that I already had scars and if I didn't take the time to deal with them and the new Akron scars, I would never be the person I was meant to be. I discovered so many things through you. I tell anyone that I really learned about God and Christianity in Akron. Do I always follow what I learned? No, but at least I have a foundation to turn to whenever I need to be led the right way. I really felt (and feel) God's presents in a way there that I had never experience. I have a real relationship with Him and the last eight of those years I can thank Akron for that.
I also discovered so many marvelous about myself. I discovered that I really could take care of myself. I knew this prior, but Akron was really the stomping ground for this growth. I am a well functioning adult and you contributed to this more than you know. I also discovered that I have the ability to make friends and create a new family in any environment that I am placed in. I am so grateful for my Akron family. I hope I was able to say and express that in so many words to each of my family members before I left and even still when I'm in communication with them. So many times in life I doubted that I could really be a good friend to others, but my time with you proved that I have a huge heart and it is fully equipped to love others and accept love from others that weren't blood family.
So Akron, I have left now and there were things I didn't discover there that I thought that I would. First and foremost, I never found a pizza that took my breath away. Please work in that in my absence. I didn't discover and establish my own family there, meaning getting the husband and children package that I saw others get once they moved there. You are such a family-orientated city and I loved that about you, but I only loved it because I thought I could get that from you and I never did. I was bitter some of my years there for not getting that package and having the family of my dreams. I am happy to say now that I have never been so grateful not to have those things. It could be because of my career and academic goals and the fact that a family would get in the way. It could be because I never saw eye to eye with any Akron guys. But really, it is because I am leaving you a better and more complete woman than I was when I came. I wanted imaginary things to define me for so long like a husband and some kids. I know now that I don't need those things. In fact, my dreams for myself have expanded so much that I do not know if that package is the end all and be all for my life. Ultimately, it is whatever God wants for me and I am grateful He placed new dreams and desires in my heart and sent me on a new journey where I can become closer to the family members I already have.
Well, Akron. It is time for me to say goodbye. Thank you so much for what you brought to my life. I knew always that I would leave you and that being an Akron lifer was not for me. I hope you will always remember me for my honesty, humor, and my heart. Just be sure that the next Pittsburgh girl that enters your presence can be served a good slice of pizza.
Love ya,
Jennie
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment