When Christian Cleavage had Boyfriends...

Since I put Jesus' imaginary dating life on blast, I thought it would be only fair and holiday appropriate to put myself out there as well. I, Christian Cleavage, am a single woman. This is old news to those who know me, but to those of you who don't know anything about me, that is my marital status. I have been single with no real boyfriend for three years - I know right! For those of you who know me, you know that after my last break-up, my goal is to date smarter and wiser. However, it seems to some of the people I love that I have taken the option of not dating at all. And you know, they have a good point.

I was never really big on dating, per say. After being out there for the past few years, I realize I am of the old school when it comes to dating and relationships. See, I had a boyfriends, not 'friends' as society puts it now. I had a guys that called me their 'girlfriend', took me out on nice dates, took me home to meet their parents, brought me around their friends, and everyone knew my place. But the game has soooo changed. In fact, at least two men I wanted to have a relationship with over the past few years informed not long after meeting me that I would be a 'friend' and that they had other 'friends' - I know right! Now, instead of changing myself and turning to the new school, I am sticking to my old school ways. I liked being a girlfriend. I liked knowing that after spending hours and hours on the phone talking about anything and everything I would be the only woman you were doing that with. Let's not even go there about how people have multiple 'friends' in a sexual society. I don't even want to think about the whole 'you're sleeping with everyone they slept with' Planned Parenthood statement.

But I liked having a boyfriend. It was special to me. And no, I haven't given up. It will be special to me. When I gave my life to Christ for the 100th time a few years ago, I promised to be celibate until marriage and that when I met people, I would pray and pray hard for discernment and wisdom. Sometimes the prayers worked and sometimes my human side kicked in and I didn't listen to what God told me about certain people. Also, I've always had the habit of betting on long shots - meaning I'm the woman who tends to like challenges. I'm like a guy that way. Tupac said in I Get Around a line that best describes my dating history, "I don't want it if it's that easy." So the guy I should end up with is normally the guy I don't fall for. Not to say that I'm the woman that falls for jerks. Some of them have been, but I have dated nice guys that were just a little unattainable, mostly because of their life agendas and how they didn't match up with mine.

So where does that leave me today? Well, I just celebrated my fourth Valentine's Day without a boyfriend. And sadly, I thank God for the sinus infection that I got Friday that let me unconscious most of the weekend - I know right. Who thanks for that? Well, I did. Because even after all these years, it's still a little hard to be alone for the most romantic holiday of the year. But unlike years past, I didn't try to pump myself up like it was going to be a great day regardless. I didn't buy myself any special treats or clothing. Now, I know as a Christian, it's day that I should have just rested in God's love and treasured that. Not to short change it, but I would like to think I do that mostly everyday. In regards to romantic love, some days I think I that I am waiting for the impossible dream and get really impatient. But even in my impatience, I don't give in to just any man or relationship or 'friend'. If I believe God has the best for me, then I have to be patient enough to wait for it. So until that day, Valentine's Day will be just a day and hopefully one day for me, it will have meaning again and one day romantic love will mean something to and for me again.