If Jesus Had a Girlfriend...

I always thought Jesus deserved a girlfriend. Yeah, I know he's the purest thing that ever walked the land, but really God, how can you have the greatest story ever told and the lead character doesn't have a love interest? I know you can make the argument that humanity was the love of Jesus' life, but come on. He still deserved a girlfriend. I read rumors of Mary Magdalene being Jesus' girlfriend, but I don't want to think about her. I want to go to the land of make believe and give Jesus a boo.

Before we begin with his possible girlfriend, let's break down Jesus. He had a healthy foundation. He knew at a young age he was different and couldn't play stick ball or hangman on stone tablets like that other kids. He had to learn so that he could teach the world how to live one day. In fact, God was "very pleased" with him according to Luke 3:22. He began his ministry around the age of 30 and moved around a lot. I know this may sound like a deal breaker, but some women understand that if a man is not off fulfilling his purpose, he's going to be dead weight to you even if you have him close to home. He knew his purpose and understood the heavy job description that he had. He was never tempted by sin of any kind and this could be equated with him having healthy boundaries. He had only 12 men as his close friends and even had the discernment that one would betray him one day. Jesus would be a good catch for any woman. Sure, it would eventually end Ritchie Valens - Donna style because of his purpose, but it would be romance just the same and everyone deserves a little romance.

Now if the cliche of opposites attract holds true, Jesus' girlfriend might not be anything like him. In fact, I would go so far to say that it could be a Romeo and Juliet thing - maybe she'd be a relative, like a niece, of Satan or something. Yes, this is pushing it, but that's what imaginations are for. But since a lot of people in those times married relatives (either close or far removed), he would probably end up with one of those. But back to being opposites, maybe his girlfriend believed in God, but not enough to travel and spread the good news to the world. Jesus could have met her on one of his preaching engagements. Maybe her family provided a place for Jesus and disciples to rest in between travels. She could have made his dinner, prepared his linens, and then, out of nowhere, started a conversation with him that ended with them falling in love. It could happen. Maybe it did happen. Who knows. But I'm sure God has his reasons for Jesus' love story not looking like Hollywood produced it, but instead, God having him love the world.

Love, with all of its good intentions, can be a distraction. And when it goes sour, they don't call it a crush for nothing. Your heart could get crushed into a million pieces. And I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to hear Jesus preach after he got his heart broken. Women weren't thought of as much back then, so Jesus could have gotten petty and put that woman, although with all women, on blast in a sermon. Think about it. He spoke to large crowds, so his influence was great and it would be like customer service. If you get good service, you tell one-two people. But if you receive poor service, you tell and tell all. Jesus could have ruined a women's name and family all because she didn't want to take a walk and drink wine (which he made from water FYI) with him. It could have been ugly, but I still stick to my first paragraph. Jesus having a girlfriend could have been nice. You know why? Because of his character that's why.

I still believe Jesus would have died on the cross for all of us, especially since his boo would have been one of us. I heard a comedian once joke about doing things for love like going into a burning building or taking a bullet for a woman. Well, Jesus giving his life would have been the ultimate sacrifice and every man would have never heard the end of it from their wives after that potential act of bravery. Yes, Jesus would have been the best boyfriend ever and instead of cupid and his dumb arrow, there would be Jesus on the cross as the symbol of love. For Christians, that is already the symbol of love or at least it should be.