I Thought It Was Just Me Thursday - Comfort Zone

I'm sure you've heard people say, 'don't look back'. I've found a few scriptures that actually agree with this same sentiment. It is important not to look back. In fact, it could actually lead to death, which was the case for Lot's wife who is the focus of this Thursday edition of I Thought It Was Just Me.

The setting was Sodom and the cast of characters included an angel, the Lord, Lot, his wife, and other family members. The Lord is about to destroy the city and he gives Lot and his family the opportunity to get out. As I am reading through the bible again this year, I didn't realize until this year how hesitant Lot was to leave as well. Genesis 19:16 states, "When Lot hesitated, the angels seized his hand and the hands of his wife and his daughters and rushed them safely outside of the city, for the Lord was merciful." Lot didn't want to leave either, but he gave into the angels and left anyway. His wife, however, still had reservations, which ultimately got the best of her and killed her.

Genesis 19:26 - But Lot's wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt.

When I've read this scripture in the past I thought, 'how dare she look back? Obviously the Lord was destroying the city for a reason and he was gracious enough to save you. In words of Fred Sanford, I thought Lot's wife was a 'big dummy' for looking back. Now, I read that scripture and realize how much sense it makes that she would look back. Lot's wife was looking back to her life and the things that she was used to. She probably loved her life. She probably was looking back at memories of her home, friends, lifestyle, hobbies, and well, her sense of self. Her comfortable life was being destroyed and inside, that was probably destroying her. She was comfortable.

I, like Lot's wife, love to be comfortable. I like going to places that make me feel comfortable. I open up to people who I feel comfortable around. I like to strip as soon as get home from anywhere and put on my comfortable clothes. Comfort. Comfort. Comfort. One thing you have to realize and Lot's wife died to realize is that what makes you feel comfortable is not always really comforting and a good situation for you. For example, have you ever been in an on-again, off-again relationship? Well, I was in one that lasted six years. You leave and then come back and then leave again just to come back in a few days or hours. It's craziness. But the reason I participated in six years of madness was because there was some sort of comfort with the other person. Although it was a dysfunctional comfort, it was a comfort just the same and well, why rock the boat.

Lot's wife was comfortable in her old life and by looking back she indicated that she didn't want to leave it. Over the past few months, I've realized how comfortable I will certain habits I've participated in for years. I shared in a past blog post about not always working out and doing it when I felt like it. Well, that was a habit - a habit of not caring and going on with life as it is with no regard for the future. As I approach turning 30, I know that I want my 30s to be different than my 20s, which means that my current comfort zone will have to be shaken up. Yes, I'm scared. Yes, I want to refuse to do some of the things I need to do to get to the next level. But as a praying Christian, I have to rely on those prayers and what God is saying through them. Some of my goals and dreams I'm not totally seeing. How am I going to pay for this or that? Where am I going to find the energy? What if I fail? I keep asking God these questions and he keeps wanting to show how he is God and can do anything. So that only leaves me one option - to step out of my comfort zone and into my faith in the Lord that serve.

I wish Lot's wife would have believed the Lord and not looked back. She may have had a life that she would have never imagined. Also, maybe her daughters wouldn't have taken the family's drama into their own hands and got pregnant by their father in the upcoming chapters. Yes, you read that right just in case you've never read that part of the bible. Go and read it for yourself. It's some hot mess! By telling you not to look back, I'm not saying you can't remember your past. Like a Pastor recently said on television, there's a way to look at your past differently where you can see the lessons and blessings from it. Yes, use your past as a teaching tool for yourself. I do it all the time. However, if you are so stuck in your past you can move into something God is calling you to do, then there's a problem.

When Christian Cleavage had Boyfriends...

Since I put Jesus' imaginary dating life on blast, I thought it would be only fair and holiday appropriate to put myself out there as well. I, Christian Cleavage, am a single woman. This is old news to those who know me, but to those of you who don't know anything about me, that is my marital status. I have been single with no real boyfriend for three years - I know right! For those of you who know me, you know that after my last break-up, my goal is to date smarter and wiser. However, it seems to some of the people I love that I have taken the option of not dating at all. And you know, they have a good point.

I was never really big on dating, per say. After being out there for the past few years, I realize I am of the old school when it comes to dating and relationships. See, I had a boyfriends, not 'friends' as society puts it now. I had a guys that called me their 'girlfriend', took me out on nice dates, took me home to meet their parents, brought me around their friends, and everyone knew my place. But the game has soooo changed. In fact, at least two men I wanted to have a relationship with over the past few years informed not long after meeting me that I would be a 'friend' and that they had other 'friends' - I know right! Now, instead of changing myself and turning to the new school, I am sticking to my old school ways. I liked being a girlfriend. I liked knowing that after spending hours and hours on the phone talking about anything and everything I would be the only woman you were doing that with. Let's not even go there about how people have multiple 'friends' in a sexual society. I don't even want to think about the whole 'you're sleeping with everyone they slept with' Planned Parenthood statement.

But I liked having a boyfriend. It was special to me. And no, I haven't given up. It will be special to me. When I gave my life to Christ for the 100th time a few years ago, I promised to be celibate until marriage and that when I met people, I would pray and pray hard for discernment and wisdom. Sometimes the prayers worked and sometimes my human side kicked in and I didn't listen to what God told me about certain people. Also, I've always had the habit of betting on long shots - meaning I'm the woman who tends to like challenges. I'm like a guy that way. Tupac said in I Get Around a line that best describes my dating history, "I don't want it if it's that easy." So the guy I should end up with is normally the guy I don't fall for. Not to say that I'm the woman that falls for jerks. Some of them have been, but I have dated nice guys that were just a little unattainable, mostly because of their life agendas and how they didn't match up with mine.

So where does that leave me today? Well, I just celebrated my fourth Valentine's Day without a boyfriend. And sadly, I thank God for the sinus infection that I got Friday that let me unconscious most of the weekend - I know right. Who thanks for that? Well, I did. Because even after all these years, it's still a little hard to be alone for the most romantic holiday of the year. But unlike years past, I didn't try to pump myself up like it was going to be a great day regardless. I didn't buy myself any special treats or clothing. Now, I know as a Christian, it's day that I should have just rested in God's love and treasured that. Not to short change it, but I would like to think I do that mostly everyday. In regards to romantic love, some days I think I that I am waiting for the impossible dream and get really impatient. But even in my impatience, I don't give in to just any man or relationship or 'friend'. If I believe God has the best for me, then I have to be patient enough to wait for it. So until that day, Valentine's Day will be just a day and hopefully one day for me, it will have meaning again and one day romantic love will mean something to and for me again.

If Jesus Had a Girlfriend...

I always thought Jesus deserved a girlfriend. Yeah, I know he's the purest thing that ever walked the land, but really God, how can you have the greatest story ever told and the lead character doesn't have a love interest? I know you can make the argument that humanity was the love of Jesus' life, but come on. He still deserved a girlfriend. I read rumors of Mary Magdalene being Jesus' girlfriend, but I don't want to think about her. I want to go to the land of make believe and give Jesus a boo.

Before we begin with his possible girlfriend, let's break down Jesus. He had a healthy foundation. He knew at a young age he was different and couldn't play stick ball or hangman on stone tablets like that other kids. He had to learn so that he could teach the world how to live one day. In fact, God was "very pleased" with him according to Luke 3:22. He began his ministry around the age of 30 and moved around a lot. I know this may sound like a deal breaker, but some women understand that if a man is not off fulfilling his purpose, he's going to be dead weight to you even if you have him close to home. He knew his purpose and understood the heavy job description that he had. He was never tempted by sin of any kind and this could be equated with him having healthy boundaries. He had only 12 men as his close friends and even had the discernment that one would betray him one day. Jesus would be a good catch for any woman. Sure, it would eventually end Ritchie Valens - Donna style because of his purpose, but it would be romance just the same and everyone deserves a little romance.

Now if the cliche of opposites attract holds true, Jesus' girlfriend might not be anything like him. In fact, I would go so far to say that it could be a Romeo and Juliet thing - maybe she'd be a relative, like a niece, of Satan or something. Yes, this is pushing it, but that's what imaginations are for. But since a lot of people in those times married relatives (either close or far removed), he would probably end up with one of those. But back to being opposites, maybe his girlfriend believed in God, but not enough to travel and spread the good news to the world. Jesus could have met her on one of his preaching engagements. Maybe her family provided a place for Jesus and disciples to rest in between travels. She could have made his dinner, prepared his linens, and then, out of nowhere, started a conversation with him that ended with them falling in love. It could happen. Maybe it did happen. Who knows. But I'm sure God has his reasons for Jesus' love story not looking like Hollywood produced it, but instead, God having him love the world.

Love, with all of its good intentions, can be a distraction. And when it goes sour, they don't call it a crush for nothing. Your heart could get crushed into a million pieces. And I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to hear Jesus preach after he got his heart broken. Women weren't thought of as much back then, so Jesus could have gotten petty and put that woman, although with all women, on blast in a sermon. Think about it. He spoke to large crowds, so his influence was great and it would be like customer service. If you get good service, you tell one-two people. But if you receive poor service, you tell and tell all. Jesus could have ruined a women's name and family all because she didn't want to take a walk and drink wine (which he made from water FYI) with him. It could have been ugly, but I still stick to my first paragraph. Jesus having a girlfriend could have been nice. You know why? Because of his character that's why.

I still believe Jesus would have died on the cross for all of us, especially since his boo would have been one of us. I heard a comedian once joke about doing things for love like going into a burning building or taking a bullet for a woman. Well, Jesus giving his life would have been the ultimate sacrifice and every man would have never heard the end of it from their wives after that potential act of bravery. Yes, Jesus would have been the best boyfriend ever and instead of cupid and his dumb arrow, there would be Jesus on the cross as the symbol of love. For Christians, that is already the symbol of love or at least it should be.