Hey everybody! It's my favorite day to blog! Well, actually it's the one day of the week I told myself I would always blog. Today is I Thought It Was Just Me Wednesday, which is where I discuss a scripture that I agree with and would agree with even if I wasn't a Christian. This year of reading the bible has brought to light so many scriptures to me and not just the ones that I've heard over and over. On Wednesday, I like to focus on a scripture that either I maybe heard once and never again or possibly never read before. I remember this particular scripture about a year ago and I want to share it with you now. This scripture is from a New Living Transition bible.
Proverbs 25:24 - It's better to live alone in a corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.
The older I get, the more I realize singleness can be a really cool thing. I am single with no children so my singleness really has it's perks for me. Take tonight for example. When I got home, I heated up leftover and the portion was just enough for me. After eating, I laid down on the couch and checked Facebook a few times from my cell phone because my computer desk seemed really far away. I then read a few pages of the book, Guinea Pig Diaries (very funny, by the way). Afterwards, I took a little cat nap before reading my word for today and blogging tonight. Now, as a single woman living on her own, this is a typical night for me....and to be truthfully honest, I usually love every minute of it. Yes, it would be nice to have someone to kiss when I walk through the door. Yes, it would have been nice to not eat leftover and have someone here who could have started cooking dinner for me. And of course, sex would be nice. Hey, just keeping it real! But at what cost do I really want these things?
I don't think about my ex-boyfriends often, but when I do, I thank God that none of those relationships lasted. Not because they were bad people or even Dateline level dangerous. If I would have stayed in those relationships, I wouldn't have been the 'Proverbs 31 Virtuous' woman, but the 'Proverbs 25:24 quarrelsome wife' woman. If that were the case, then I would be the person with Dateline or Snapped tendencies! Those relationships were not build to last. In fact, some of them weren't meant to start, but I thank God that they are over and I have yet another chance to find someone new.
I don't want to be a quarrelsome wife, nor do I want a quarrelsome husband. So until the time comes for me to meet and marry my husband, I will stay in my corner - or in my case, my one bedroom apartment. One realization I had this year is that I don't need my Ken doll to have my Barbie dream house. I started house hunting a couple of months ago so that I can expand my corner. Although I'm probably a year or two away from having a house, I know that I can make my own home and when my husband comes along, he will just have to get a moving truck and settle in. I always fantasized about buying my first home with my husband. I wanted someone to grow with. My realization this year was to make a new dream and since I've been doing this well on my own, let's take it to the next level and have our own house.
When I read this scripture a year ago, I remember thinking that although this scripture has merit, it doesn't take away the lonely nights of being single and all the responsibility and stress I have to bare on my own. Reading now I see it in a whole new light. I read it now as inspiration to keep on the single path that I am on and to not make any stops until God taps me on the shoulder and tell me the guy is a keeper. Because I don't need any drama coming up in my one bedroom apartment!
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I've read that too and I agree with it completely. I try to use it as a general rule and it makes me think of that Mobb Deep line "ain't no such thing as a half-way crook" lol. There is not much room, if any, for self-indulgence, or even just simple, personal "me"-time in a relationship. That is something, in my opinion, that should be agreed upon between a couple how much me-time or GNOs (guys/girls night out), personal space, privacy, etc. is needed. There is no right or wrong amount, just what is mutually appropriate for the couple and their specific relationship. Whatever the details and nuances are of any given, specific relationship, both parties must be committed or "all-in" as they say in poker. No half-steppin'. 100% committed to the relationship and the other person.
ReplyDeleteSo yes, it is better to be alone than to be in a relationship that is not built to last or even start as you accurately stated. To me, it's not so much about trouble/conflict, 'cause that will come anyway when you are not on the same page in any relationship - acquaintances, friends, co-workers, intimate, romantic, etc.
One more point to note and piggy-backing off (in an alternative way) of something I believe you touched on in an earlier post is lifestyle choices. If you live like a single person but want to be married, something has got to give! Or go away! A reminder of that scripture 1 Corinthians 13:11, "when I was a child, I spoke as a child... but when I became a man, I put those childish things away." A lot of us singles, myself included, have to step up in this area.
House-hunting seems like a step in the right direction. God bless with that!
No one knows this more than me. Which is funny that after 6 years of marriage hell, I now live in the corner of an attic of sorts! (That said, this attic ROCKS!)
ReplyDeleteI used to feel badly about being single, but now I can appreciate it. Also, I noticed a lot of people our age who married young are divorced.
ReplyDeleteThere's a book you should check out--Sassy, Single, and Satisfied. And write some more on this topic-I found this entry to be encouraging:)
ReplyDelete---Libbie