Everywhere That I Go

Today, I had the song, Everywhere That I Go by Israel Houghton, in my head all day - even now. Since I don't own the CD, I went to You Tube several times throughout the day to hear this song. During my bible reading tonight, I read with this song in my head and began to think about my car accident two weeks ago. That was not my first car accident. In fact, I have been in several. What makes them all significant is that I survived all of them with not one scratch on my body. There were a few that I was sore, but never any real damage and based on some of them, you couldn't tell that if you saw the car or cars involved.

I don't like to talk about them because one, it's embarrassing. Surprisingly, people tend to make fun of you for being in a car accident, even ones that aren't your fault and ones that I could have killed you. It's insensitive to me and hurts my feeling, hence I tend to leave out the biggest part of my testimony. There is nothing fun about any car accident to me. Even before all of mine, I never laughed at people in them because everyone makes mistakes and what if someone had gotten hurt. Even typing about them now I scared about the reaction I will get, but God wanted me to write this tonight based on my experience with him during my reading.

Tonight, I read Lamentations. At the beginning, it talks about how beautiful Jerusalem was, comparing it the queen of the Earth and being the greatest among the nations. But then it turned to being deserted and in according chapter 1:1 - now sits alone like a widow. It mentions how God planned its' destruction and he knew what he was doing when he ruined it. All of a sudden as I read I began to cry. All of those car accidents I was in I was able to walk away from. It might have caused me a lot of money and at one point, a lawsuit that caused me terrible stress and anxiety attacks, but my health did not fail and I walked away with no scratch and the law suit was dropped. As I cried, I asked God, like I have before, why I didn't end up like Jerusalem? Why didn't God destroy me? Why didn't I die or at least get seriously hurt? Those may seem like stupid and pointless questions, but when you experienced the same drama over and over, you tend to think, 'ok, just get rid of me already so I don't have to face my family, friends, or anyone else.' But another thing also happens when I think of the accidents. The beautiful and painful thing that happens is I get extremely overwhelmed when I think of whatever it is God apparently has planned for me to do. Obviously, there has to be some great assignment or task to fulfill if I am surviving these many times from something that could kill me.

As the tears flowed tonight, I said, once again, thanks be to God for sparing my life and wonder what it is he has for me to do. May be it's this blog. May be it's the children I haven't had yet or the marriage I haven't had yet. May be it's more ministry work. May be it's something for my family. Whatever it God is not letting me get away without doing it and again, I can only say thank you for snatching me out of harm's way. It makes me also feel silly for tripping out over the little things that I do because of the bigger picture and the bigger situations God's already seen me through. Bishop did a series on Being Chased and Chosen by God and it was one of my favorite series because I never thought of God being in my life in those terms. Because of the series, I know when God has had to chase me from stuff I had no business doing. Through reading the bible this year, I am seeing how great it is to be chosen by him. Please remember God is there wherever you go. You don't have to survive horrific things like me to feel him. Learn to feel him in the good as well as the difficult. I appreciate God more now for surviving what I did and giving me the opportunity to write about it today.