I Thought It Was Just Me Wednesday - Listening and Powerful People

This is the second installment of I Thought It Was Just Me Wednesday! Yeah! For those new to the website, Wednesday is the day I share with you scripture that I found where me and God are total agreement on the topic. These scriptures I would agree with even if I wasn't a Christian or never read the bible. I have two for you today, which are from a New Living Translation bible.

Psalm 146:3 - Don't put your confidence in powerful people; there is no help for you there.
This scripture would have gotten an 'Amen' from me even before the recession. I don't mean to put down powerful people with this scripture reference. Some powerful people out there really do use their powers for good and not evil and can be trusted. However, believing every little thing they say is foolish. This is where your own wisdom and discernment have to kick in and make the decision whether to trust or not trust. The one reason I love this scripture is because a couple lines later it tells why you should be confident in the Lord versus people. In Psalm 146:5 it states, 'But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God.' God is the ultimate helper and has all of the power, as I mentioned in an earlier post. I pray for God's confidence almost daily because the world is hard to face and I know my strength without him would easily get me knocked down. Let God direct you toward to the powerful people that can help you and have your back just as God would.

Proverbs 18:13 - Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.
Although I agree with this scripture, I don't always follow it. I'm the person that gets an email, looks for key words, and responses about 50% of the time. And of course, I have a 1,000 questions about it when really I could have finished the email and answered my own questions. Listening is one of most important skills you can possess. There are several resources and websites that talk about how to be a better listen. Being a Communication Major, the most helpful advice I can give you to improve in this area is to just shut up and hear the other person out. The only way to build a relationship is to get to know the person by...wait for it...wait for it...LISTENING TO THEM! I noticed I've been cutting people off alot lately, so if I do it to you, please tell me to shut up. I mean it. Just tell me, but for listening to you purposes only - not just because! I'll let you know when telling me to shut up starts to hurt my feeling, which should be the trigger for me not to cut you off anymore. I encourage you to tell the people in your life to put you on blast if you are guilty of this as well.

As always, let me know your thoughts on these scriptures. Have a great day!

Seasons Change

It's funny how it can be 72 degrees one day and then in the 50s a couple days later. Actually, it's not funny. It's just cold. I painted my toenails just two days ago only for them to know be covered by socks and tights. Yes, the seasons have changed and it seems like you don't have much time to get used to it. Along with the weather, I also thought about my own life in terms of the seasons. Different seasons in our lives require us to be changed and different people. Your life shouldn't look the same year after year. That's not to say you can't have some of the same foundations year after year. For instance, I've work for the same company for a few years now, but no two years at the company mirror each other. I'm learning and growing a little each year because of the change in projects and company initiatives.

Although certain things have stayed the same, I have changed since this time last year.
Around the time in September 2008, I:

• Was an active aspiring songwriter, writing songs almost weekly and had 15 songs with a copyright.
  
• Had a strong passion for my job every day I was there
  
• Had a short hair cut
  
• Had never cooked anything from scratch
• Had burgundy colored finger and toe nails
• Had a major crush on a guy and acted like a shy girl in high school about it.

Fast forward a year later to now. In September 2009, I:

• am praying that I won a national writing contest I entered in May
• Still like my job, but desire the passion back for it
  
• Have longer hair
• Have hot pink toe nails
• Don't have the crush anymore - instead have good friendship that probably allows me to be more myself than trying to be someone's girlfriend
• am almost done reading the bible
• am a blogger!
  

Every season is different in its own way. The reasons for the differences in seasons could be an increase/decrease in maturity, shift in priorities, or simply you were bored and wanted to do something else. I'm not sure if every change I've been through is of God. God may have liked my hair shorter or prefer me to keep writing songs although I feel I have nothing to write about. Most of my songs were about a new love and the optimism that brings because I thought I was in a season where I would experience a new love. Please don't misunderstand. I still want to write songs and sell the ones that I have, but I don't feel the need to make that my focus right now. In this season, I feel the need to share my experiences with my faith because I know there are others out there that may be confused about their Christian walk because well, it gets confusing!

The seasons changing outside should make you reflect on the past year and the changes you may have experienced. How has God blessed you? How has God challenged? How has God let you down? You can ask those questions. I do all the time. The important thing is to honest when answering those questions, which means possibly admitting fault and giving God an apology. Although the winter season to come makes it harder and less leisurely to drive, I don't mind the seasons changing. God states in numerous places in the bible about his ability to change the weather. I'll be honest. Sometimes I would skim some of those passages because they were boring to me, but now I see the bigger picture in them. If God can change the weather an instant, then he can change me in the same manner. I just have to be open and not afraid of a change in climate.

Safe Environments

I had a conversation with a friend the other day about how important it is as a Christian to keep yourself in safe environments. What do I mean by safe? In my mind, safe environments refer to places where you are not tempted to behave like the person you used to be before you met Christ.

One scripture that I feel relates to this topic is Isaiah 8:11, 'The Lord gives me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does.' It can be hard not to thing like others, especially in a place like your work environment where everyone is in agreement on something and because of the principles you follow in your own life you don't agree. For example, last year I went to party at my old boss's house. Everyone was drinking and I wasn't. One of my co-workers said, 'oh, that's right. Jennie doesn't drink.' The way she said it embarrassed me and upset me a little. Not wanting to start drama, I giggled a little at comment and then continued to drink my ginger ale. Being around my family it's the same thing. In my mind, drinking is not good for me, so I think they feel I judge them for drinking. I don't really. I just know what I can and can't handle.

Based on my past, I know what environments are not safe for me. I shouldn't be at clubs or bars or hanging out alone late at night with men. Is it easy to not go to these environments? Not always. Some nights I would like to go to clubs and bars and in fact, this year I went to bar to watch the UFC fights with a friend. The only thing that saved me in that environment was that the fight was showing in a big private room in the back where I didn't have to be affected by the actual club environment. The room was full of people just there to see the fight and I didn't feel pressured to do anything bad. In fact, I had two Sherry Temples that night and had a great time. I also miss the company of a man sometimes, even if I have no business with that man. Some of this just relates to the comfort in what is familiar. Joyce Meyers once talked about how to the right thing to do initially feels wrong, but you have to keep doing it until it feels right.

One way to ensure you will keep yourself in safe environments is to be around safe people. I could spend several blog entries explore this topic, but I'll keep it short for now. You have to be honest with your safe network of friends and family. If people know what experiences you come from, they will be least likely to take you to places that have nothing to do with your calling. I'm not saying tell them every little detail, but just enough where they know you are NOT the friend to take to the club. If you really want that person to be in your life, then tell them where you will go with them. For example, I told a friend once that I would like to go to breakfast/lunch/dinner, the mall, Barnes and Noble (my real home), and a few other places, but I won't be your 'club girlfriend'.

Taking yourself out of unsafe environments takes what I like to call Christian Guts. It's not easy to have guts enough to stand up for God and yourself. I know one time last year I failed at this and was in an unsafe environment were I didn't behave well. Although I've prayed and asked forgiveness, it still haunts me to this day because I know I will be tested again and need all the strength of God not to go back to that behavior. I encourage you to think about the unsafe environments in your life and pray about what direction you should take in regards to finding safe environments. Take care and God bless.

My Lack of a Shopping Gene

Let me break the one stereotype that not a lot of people are willing to talk about. In fact, I may get into the Guinness Book of World Records for this one. Hope you're sitting down. I hate shopping!!! Yes, I'm Christian and I hate something - put your issue with that in my Comments section! I don't like shopping specifically for clothes. Food and books I can make it without feel the walls are caving in on me. Today, I had to go clothes shopping. I desperately need new shoes. Shoes that I can wear to work and feel comfortable in, but also wear to church and other places. Since I don't like to shop, I want EVERYTHING that I buy to be multi-purpose.

Another reason I hate shopping is because it makes me miss home. My mom and I did almost everything together. On a day like today, we would either be shopping or laying around the house watching Lifetime or reality TV marathons. When shopping, I miss my big sisters too. They just know how to put things together. They take the time and read magazines and online articles and absorb what's hot and not. Even my 13-year old niece could teach me a thing or two. My two-year old niece has a pair of Uggs and starting wearing them weeks ago as if she lived in California and they were cool all year round. And you know what? On her, they were cool and she knows this at a young age. So if something in my family skipped a generation or a child, I was definitely me with the shopping gene.

I went out today in the rainy weather and attempted to shop. Although I came home with some things, it wasn't without a struggle. Does this look good on me? Will people at work think I'm fashion forward or backwards Betsy? I felt the worst anxiety today. I could have broken out in hives. How did I deal with the anxiety? Thanks to technology, I could bring my family with me. I took a picture of the shoes that I wanted to buy and sent it to them. My sister text me back before I left the store and told me they were a yes. I already wanted to buy them, but again, I haven't picked up a fashion magazine since my last hair appointment and that was all summer stuff so her input was appreciated. Thank God I got through the day and actually bought an entire outfit at a reasonable price...at least it's reasonable to me because since I don't shop and didn't want to be there, I would have paid anything to get out of that store! You can see the shoes for yourself at the end of this entry.

I hope you all are having a good weekend and getting your rest because Monday will be here before you know. I also hope that you will go to church tomorrow and get your praise on. If you don't have anything to praise about, then praise God that I got through my horrific experience today and also that I find another pair of shoes this time in brown. God bless and good night!

It's Ok to be Tired...

I believe it's OK to be tired. Mostly because today I am tired. I didn't go to bed by 10 p.m. like I promised myself (thanks to the Season Premier of Grey's Anatomy being a two hour special). So today I am tired. By the end of the day at work, I had the energy of a crack head, but only after having the energy of a turtle for the first few hours this morning. The crack head energy crashed and burned as soon as I sat back in my car to drive home. This tired spell got me thinking about more than just sleepy-tired. On my way home from work, I began to think of actually things I'm tired of.
1. I'm tired of people that don't use turning signals.
2. I'm tired of going into air conditioned buildings and freezing my butt when summer is officially over.
3. I'm tired of people that over spray their perfume/cologne.
4. I'm tired of the construction on Route 8.
5. I'm tired of everything costing so much at stores. What happened to giveaways and contests?

With the exception of #4, I can't do much about the things on this list so let me focus on what I can control. What are things within myself that I am tired of? The biggest thing I got sick of hearing myself say was I like to write when really I barely wrote except for documents on my job. To excuse my writing, I would operate under the 'I need to be inspired' rule. The rule is good in principle, but you should be able to write about anything and even if it is just a couple of sentences per day. I wasn't even doing that. I took my 'tired of thinking I was a writer' and turned it into this blog. Back to my original point, it's Ok to be tired, but eventually you have to do something about it. If you are sleepy-tired, then your solution should be to rest. If you can't get to work on time because of construction, then leave earlier and find another route. If you think you have slightest talent as a writer, artist, teacher, designer, leader, etc., then become that person. Even if it is just within the privacy of your own home on a free blog site and amongst your friends, do it.
This blog has been the highlight of my week. I felt like I let my readers down by waiting this long today to write something. I did realize today there may be times when I write something that is not Pulitzer Prize quality or even 8th grade essay writing contest quality and that's OK. When I got home, I was tired of not having anything written today on the blog. And what did I do? I wrote about being tired. Folks, it's that simple. Use every elements around you and everything that you are for God and his assignment for you. If God can take the most exhausted person in Northeast Ohio and turn them into a writer, he can use you in your current condition and make you into the person you want to be. Well, all this writing about being tired has made me want to lay my tired butt down. Have a good and safe evening. Thanks for reading.

Concentration, Are You Ready?

At the beginning of the month, I was having trouble concentrating on things I needed to do. I thought something was seriously wrong with me. Last night I remembered the childhood hand-game, Concentration. In this game, you clap your hands, pat them on your lap and also snaps your fingers as you tried to name as many things related to the chosen topic as possible. Topics could be colors, foods, cities, etc. I also remembered how anyone could easily lose the game. Hesitating was the one thing in the game you didn't want to do because if you didn't answer in time, your opponents would surely cheer in your face and make you feel bad about it at the same time.

In my life, I'm guilty of hesitating. I hesitate by not calling people and not realizing that life is short and you never know the last time you will be able to talk to someone. I hesitate at work sometimes by not speaking up in meetings because my idea might not sound as smart as my co-workers. The one area of my life I am trying not to hesitate is when it is time to go to God. When trouble comes, it is easy for me to go to God last because the support system around me and technology today. I can send a quick text to my sisters and friends and ask them for prayer and support. I started to do that a few weeks ago and then it hit me. Jennie, why don't you just go to God and pray? That was my duh moment of the day. Let's just eliminate the middle man and go to him myself. I'm not saying that you can't share with friends and family. I just want to challenge you to stop hesitating and go to God for yourself.

When you don't feel God's love or you can't find him, don't hesitate. Concentrate on his love for you and pray to him. When your world seems like it's falling apart, don't hesitate with your prayers, your offerings, or your worship. Concentrate on the fact that this is a temporary set-back and God gives people do-overs all the time. God wants you to live a life that is blessed beyond measure and he wants to be your option in all situations. The best thing about God is even you hesitate, he still wants to be there for you.

I realize that everything that I am telling you is easier said than done, so you don't have to put that in my Comments section. Let me share something with you. God put this blog on my heart around July/August and I did what I usually do. I went to the library and got books about blogging for research. I even put a post on my Facebook asking others for opinions and help. Well, I didn't read any of the books and I didn't follow up with anyone who offered to help. I hesitated. I wanted things to be perfect and to have all the elements like a logo and a design in place before I did it. But on Sunday night, I decided to revise my version of perfect for this blog and just start it. I didn't even proofread the first entry and still haven't and probably won't. My point is the second time this blog touched my heart I didn't hesitate and I don't regret it. In the game of Concentration, hesitation can cause you to lose. In my adventure of finding God and growing closer to him, I'm learning the same thing. Believe me. Looking foolish after losing a game to a friend is nothing compared to losing out on a blessing from God!

I Thought It Was Just Me Wednesdays

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I am currently reading through the bible. The best part about reading the bible is finding scriptures that I never knew were in the bible and describe how I already feel about a certain subject. One goal that I had for this blog was to have a theme for one day of the week. I also wanted to introduce my readers to scripture, but not in a typical bible study feel. As a result, I will post a blog every Wednesday called I Thought It Was Just Me to showcase some of those scriptures that made me stop and say, 'I thought it was just me who thought this way'. Today, I have three scriptures for you.

Psalms 60:11 - Oh, please help us against our enemies, for all human help is useless.
I would like to focus on the second part of that statement, for all human help is useless. I remembered reading this scripture and laughing out loud. I think it's because I had a bad day where human help was definitely useless at the time. I think this is a scripture we can all relate to because it's honest look at human behavior and how people truly tend to let us down sometimes we give them every benefit of the doubt. This scripture rings in my head whenever I receive poor customer service, when I have to work with others and they act like they have no idea what I'm talking about, and ultimately, when someone lets me down in a major way. This scripture also refers back a previous where I talked about God's power. Why go to other people when you have a problem? Instead, just drop to your knees and go to the man with ultimate power.

Proverbs 11:15 - There's danger in putting up security for a stranger's debt; it's safer not to guarantee another person's debt.
Translation to Jennie: No co-signing! This blog is not an advice column by any means. I'm just telling you what I read. I don't care if Roscoe has to take the bus for another year, I'm not signing off on his Hyundai and possibly ruining my good standing credit. Sorry Roscoe!

Proverbs 23:13-14 - Don't fail to discipline your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death.
As a single woman with no children, I am NEVER allowed to say ANYTHING about how people raised their kids. Although I was once a child myself, which you would think could make me a subject matter expert, I can't say anything. However, God can say something and I think he did with this powerful scripture. It's OK to set rules and tell your children no. I love the part about how discipline can save them. I totally agree. If you learn at home how to behave and see that behavior modeled properly at home, then it can save you from acting stupid outside of the home and possibly having major consequences depending on the behavior.

Let me know your thoughts on I Thought It Was Just Me Wednesdays and also how you feel about the scriptures mentioned above. Have a great day and as always, thanks for reading.

It Begins with Thanks

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I try not to think like the world in regards to life and having things by a certain age. However, this birthday the world's mentality was a like a mosquito bit sucking the blood and almost the fun of my entire birthday. I turned 29 on September 5th. I never realized until this year how scary the number 29 looked. It looked scary on my birthday cake. It looked scary when I had to recently write it on a form. It just looks scary! When you want to try to believe something, it all begins with acceptance. My way of accepting 29 was making a cool catch phrase on my birthday cake, which was 'I Don't Mind 29' because I truly wanted to accept this new age. Well, it didn't work. Nothing worked. Mostly because the funk started before my birthday and the scary 29 just added to feelings of failure and paranoia.
Last week, I met with a Pastor that a love and respect because of his honesty and kind words. He suggested that I begin looking at my life in a different way and begin to be thankful. He asked me to state things I was thankful for. I was happy to report to him that I had that same revelation the day prior and started making a grateful list in my journal. I wrote down everything I was thankful/grateful for that happened to me that day. I actually listed 19 things. I did the same thing the next day and the next day and have since fallen off the wagon, but in my prayers I try to list a few things. I came up with an acronym for the word thanks.

THANKS stands for:
Thoughtful Heart Always Nice and Kind Speech

By having a thoughtful heart, I can block it from the negative that is around me. I have to train my heart to accept the good things about myself and others, which is no easy task. The 'Always Nice and Kind Speech' part is a work in progress. I'm the type of person that negative can easily flow out of my mouth. I don't want it to or mean it to, but it just does. And it's not always about other people - sometimes it's about me, which is not good at all. Most of the time my worst critic is myself. Pray for me because I want that to stop. I do believe that if I can get my heart in order, than the speech would surely follow. It all begins with thanks. Let me leave you with a list of my thanks for yesterday and encourage you to think in terms of thanks today.

1. Safe driving in my car
2. Flat iron arrived today from Amazon
3. Talked to mom and she is fine
4. People read my blog!
5. I have 3 followers on my blog.
6. God is giving me the words for the blog.
7. Speedy service everywhere I went
8. Starting to understand the book of Isaiah
9. Learning more about my friends
10. Very productive meeting at work - feel more confident about the project and my ability to lead it

Finding God Attractive...

One way that I am trying to be more Christian and less cleavage is reading through the One Year Bible. I'm happy to report that I am on task for this year. Reading through the bible has been an amazing experience. I wish someone would have told me how the Old Testament was the original US Weekly. I could just imagine if there were a magazine back then the headlines that would stem from it.
"Don't Complain...You'll Get Wiped Out!"
"Jacob to Leah, 'the kid is not my son!'"
"Leah fires back to Jacob, "He's got your eyes, nose, and jaw structure, you idiot!"
"Second Time Around: Special 10-page spread of Boaz and Ruth's Wedding."
I mean, could you imagine? I can't say at this point if I have a favorite book of the bible because I want to give every book equal opportunity to impress me. Look for my decision in a blog toward the beginning of next year.
As a Christian, you are supposed to want God more than anything. More than money or silver and gold (or diamonds and pearls according to Prince). God is supposed to come before family, friends, and career. I can honestly say that in my life I don't always think of God first. I'm thinking of him more, but not always first. A few months ago I wrote in my journal about how I wasn't attracted to God. I felt silly writing it for several reasons. The main reason is because God has all the power. He can do anything. If I were a typical American, a powerful man would definitely win my heart. However, God's power doesn't always grab me and maybe it's because God can't physically grab me. What I don't think God understands is that human touch factor that He can't provide like a real human. Single people are always told to wait on God, but the person we shouldn't be with sometimes win over God because waiting sucks number one and you can't hold on to anything physically when you're waiting. So, how can I hold God? Well readers, I'm still trying to figure that out. One way to build any relationship is to get to know the other person. Reading the One Year Bible has definitely helped with that. It has given me a deeper respect and understanding of God and Jesus and it's teaching me how to love the people in my life. More tomorrow on my Ross and Rachel relationship with God. Have a blessed day!

Let's Begin...

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing most days. I feel like I've been faking it most of the time. The 'it' being my Christianity. I know that I have several Christian accomplishments I could be proud of, but I still don't feel as close to God as others and that scares me. Some days I don't even know what 'close to God' looks like. But I'm trying. The key is trying. Church people tend to not write you off as fast if you're trying. So church people or busy bodies, if you would admit it about yourselves, I'm trying. I know you're probably wondering if this blog is about my journey through and with my spirit, where's the cleavage come in? And no, this is not so undercover porn site if you're wondering. There will be no nuns taking it off on this site! The cleavage is my cleavage. My bra's are the host to decent sized breasts. My breasts used to be the party favors in what I called my dating life. But now, thanks to my relationship with Jesus, they are now only caressed by the bras that holds them and the wash cloths that bathe them...yeah, thanks Jesus. The cleavage part represents the side of me that wants to drink, smoke, swear, and have parties with only two attendees, myself and a gentleman caller. The cleavage represents every single and sexy Christian woman out there that is forced to think with her brain instead of her lust and natural instinct on a Saturday night. The cleavage portraits those urges to just be free, even though you've read the book of Romans and felt like you were reading you're life story. Christian Cleavage is my blog and well, it is my life. I hope you'll read this blog again and stay with me and also comment on it as well. Thanks for reading this much and I hope to see you tomorrow.