The Day Perfection Dies Day 10

Today was one of those days that started with hopelessness and tears. Some many little and big things led to this. I was able to snap out of it thanks to two things; a call to my mother and listening to soft gospel on the way to work. It helped get me in the mood for an optimistic day. There were events in this day that made me doubt everything good and everything in general. However, it ended with hope and love and the realization that I don't understand half of the things on this course syllabus. Seriously, I feel stuck on stupid reading this thing. Now, a person with common sense would think, "Duh! The reason you're in this class is to learn things you don't know so this syllabus should be like reading a foreign language." But my thought process was "WT_! This whole thing was a mistake. Maybe I can use my loan money for my vacation next year." I wanted to back out. Thankfully, I have a co-worker that has studied all of this before and she was able to translate the syllabus for me and I feel a tiny bit better about this. Also, God granted me some common sense to get through the mini panic attack I was giving myself about school.

College is such a different animal than it was eight years ago. Everything is online and nothing, including my bill, looks like you think it should. And everyone looks so young! And standing in the Bursar's office line I felt like a Cougar amongst the babies. But I know it will all be okay and that once I get to my specific course, I will see people that look like me (age wise) and have real responsibilities like me (bills and a benefit giving job).

Please pray for me because I'm having throat problems and I have two important courses to teach this week. Here is what this day brought in terms of being grateful:

• Mommy
• Misreading a bill
• Getting my books
• People believing in you when you don't
  
• Not being perfect
• The fact that I thought I was perfect
• Another day to try again.

Good night!