Can I Love Something Enough to Let It Go?

I’m going to be honest. This topic first came to mind because of a personal situation I’m dealing with right now. But that subject is way too personal and close to my heart to put on my blog. However, as I thought more about the question I’ve been asking myself for the past week, it made me think of other events in my life that I don’t mind writing about. As I mentioned in the last post, I am going back to school in the fall for my graduate degree. Although I know this is the best thing for me, I can’t help but think of some of the things I’m going to be giving up to do this. Mainly, the freedom that came with being an adult. The freedom to literally go to work and come home. In August, I will have two classes a week that will give me lots of reading and papers to write. I will have to miss church on Wednesday nights and probably my workout class on Tuesday evenings (that is if nothing is due for class the next day, which means yes I will say bye-bye to class). Before June, I had the equivalent attitude of a teenage mom regarding grad school. I thought, ‘my life won’t change that much. I can still hang with the girls, have plenty of time for Prince Charming (when he meets me), and for other activities (like coming home from work and kickin’ it on the couch).’ Well, let me tell you. My friends have Scared Me Straight, but thankfully, not so much that I took back my acceptance. They just put my upcoming life in perspective for me and I’m totally grateful. Now, I just need to become ‘adult’ enough to handle this new adventure.

Adult for me means putting down the remote, going to bed at a decent hour, saying bye-bye to Hudson’s great combo of Jillian Michaels and Denise Austin (shout out to Paulie), and really taking my future (now that I have one again) seriously. So I ask the question again, ‘can I love something enough to let it go?’ I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like I’m the only person in the world that has to let go of the things I love. It seems like everyone around me can keep what they love and sometimes get more stuff to love. Like love relationships, for example, other people can break up with someone and it be a painful love and then meet the love of their life two weeks later and keep that love. Not your girl, here. When I let go of a love, I have a three-five year community service sentence of loneliness and have to be all runner-up contestant like as I smile for the good fortune of others. My new favorite ice cream, Starbucks' Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino, is only out for a limited time, so unless by popular demand it stays I'll have to let that go too. (Damn! Damn! Damn!) But back to grad school and the upcoming funeral to my free time and getting out of debt sooner. If Michael Jackson never could say goodbye, then I feel like I’m always saying goodbye. And since I think Lionel Ritchie is lyrical genius, I want to rather sing his song and say, “Hello”.

And of course hearing, Leann Rimes singing “How Do I Live (without you)?” on the work Muzak system everyday doesn’t help accepting the fact that God wants me to let go of things. He wants me to release those things are not good for me so that He can fill them with good, quality things. He wants me to give up my love for everything on TV to get the best education of all. He wants me to risk sleep and doing fun things now in order to ultimately do the funnest thing everyday and get to call it a career. Even if I wasn’t going back to school, there should be some sort of dream in my heart. Even if it is just the excitement and zeal I had when I first started this blog. I felt this great responsibility, but a great sense of purpose at the same time that I was really grateful to God for.

So can I be strong enough, adult enough, and Christian enough to let things in my life go so that God can move and show me things that are probably 10 times better? Let’s find out.