A Change of Perspective...

This past weekend I had the pleasure of introducing one of my Akron friends to Pittsburgh. She had never been before, so I played tour guide and airline stewardess on the ground to her this weekend. With the help of my family, we were able to welcome her to the city with open arms and a good meal thanks to the early Thanksgiving idea of my mother. But I truly feel that I owe my friend a thank you for reintroducing me to the city where I grew up. Some of the neighborhoods that we took her to I hadn't been to in years. One of the beautiful places to go is Mount Washington. That is where you can see the entire city and also ride the Incline. Mount Washington is the place where people go to take wedding and prom photos. It's a place every tourist should go to at least once, especially if you are a Pittsburgh Steelers hater. With such an amazing view, I know for myself I couldn't think of anything I hated from there. I admired the all of the buildings and stadiums and signs that I saw from up there. I felt appreciative that I got to live in a city with things to do and that you didn't need your own transportation to live there.

It was an interesting to experience my life through someone else's eyes. My friend got to meet my immediate family and she loved everyone that she met. I know that I take my family for granted sometimes. By having someone there who could see all of the wonderful traits I sometimes forget about humbled me. I really do have a good family and I love them so much. And the fact that they were so good to my friend and made her feel welcome I appreciate. I've been around the family of other friends a few times where they didn't even offer me water let alone a place to stay for two days, food, and a very knowledgeable tour guide. I'm glad she had fun and I'm glad that I come from such a loving family who definitely thinks of other people's comfort before their own.

Now I'm back in Akron and well, I think I need help seeing my life here in a positive perspective. I'm so lost right now. I'm in school and sort of enjoying it. The only reason I'm not enjoying it is because work has gotten more demanding and also fear. My fear that, like my songwriting and book writing and blogging and other interests, that this will too be a dying fade. Although I have a career I'm proud of, there are other things in my life I wanted to do and never did them. I can make the argument "there's still time"forever, but my motivation is mud. It's hard to face this blog sometimes. I think I put pressure on myself at first. I wanted it to be so many things that I couldn't live up to after a while. The second time around I tried the appreciation blogs and that was good, but all you need is to have a bad day or bad experience or just get full of yourself, and bam, no more appreciation and no more blogging.

God knows I don't want a horrific "It's a Wonderful Life" experience. I just don't know right now what to focus on. Should I go back to the old dreams or just continue to live out these new ones although they are not as fun and I'm still not sure where they came from. God, please help me by cleaning my glasses and my heart and allowing me to see what my potential is and how to use it.